The studies are in, and they strongly suggest that readers are smart cookies. Indeed, word addicts possess more fluid and crystallized intelligence. They’re more empathetic. They have wider vocabularies, less stress, and better memory. They are the superior nerd!

So why the hell do some authors treat readers like they’re suckers?

Look buddy. If you’re buying automated book reviews, readers will catch you. Nor can you force your novel to “become a viral sensation.” Even the almighty Big Five can’t do that. If they could, we’d have a new bestseller every week.

“What?” you may ask, with statistically probable innocence. “What do you mean? What ‘tricks’ have been tried before?”

Oh, let me count the ways…

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