100 Horrors on Sale Now!

This is what will happen to you if you don't buy it.

This is what will happen to you if you don't buy the book.

Here at He2etic’s Hysterical Horoscope, I am hard at work setting up a cult of He2esy. And like all cults, we are fated to either drink arsenic-laced Kool-Aid or sell out with dues and merchandising.

Sometimes, even both.

But good news, my cultist children! I have opted for the former of the aforementioned options (for now). I will not, however, ask for your car, house and first-born just yet. No, instead I offer you the honor of buying my new e-book, 100 Horrors: Tales of Horror in the Blink of an Eye, edited by Kevin G. Bufton.

Okay, maybe it’s not quite just my book. I mean, I am splitting the credit with the editor. And the cover artist. And like, ninety-nine other authors… who are probably better writers than me.

But still! Now is your chance to own a piece of authentic He2esy. So act now, and years later you could look back and say, “Hey, I know that guy! I read his blog and book!”

With a tone of both remorse and disgust.

Buy 100 Horrors: Tales of Horror in the Blink of an Eye today! Only $2.99.

Advertisements

Hammer Holidays 2011 Competition

Twas the night before Christmas and somewhere in the hab
A warrior roared, clad in a red stained rag
Behind him were the bodies of an Imperial Guard squad
And he screamed at his victims, “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!”

You don't wanna know what happens to the naughty children. Click to view on DakkaDakka!

You don't wanna know what Santa Marine does to the naughty children. Click to view and rate on DakkaDakka!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays folks!

This month, we’re hosting another competition with prizes. First place winner will receive a free normally priced novel from the Black Library (or any other novel from Amazon if nothing else interests them). Second place winner gets a copy of Hammer & Bolter magazine.

The winner will be announce just before New Years.

But we have a unique theme! You see, many cultures have holidays around this season. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etcetera. So rather than trying to fit a Warhammer story around Christmas (which makes no sense), you are going to invent a holiday for us! Try to imagine a Dwarven style winter holiday, or devise an Eldar style holiday for example. Be creative, interesting or funny as you want. And don’t worry about canon, just have fun!

A few rules:
1) The deadline will be December 25th so the judges will have time to review.
2) The word limit is around 2,000 words. We’ll make some allowances for going over this limit but please only go crazy with the quality of the words and not the quantity.
3) One entry per person.
4) Warhammer, Warhammer 40k and all fictional stories are welcome.
5) All other regular Bolthole rules apply.
6) To enter, just paste your story on the forum post. If you posted some story elsewhere, just copy and paste it on the forum so we can keep track of it.
7) Once the entries are in, LordLucan, He2etic and a mystery judge will figure out which stories are the winners. We hope to announce the winner right before New Years.

Happy holidays and Merry Christmas! And good luck writers!

DITNA

So yesterday, the Orks learned that we were not at war but a fashion show. Simply put, dead is the new alive. (Clap clap) MUSIC!

So I actually beat Exterminatus yesterday. 20 rounds of Orks squashed. I was quite surprised we beat the 19th round as easily as we did. The secret was that four of us grabbed point A as soon as possible, then we split up to grab points B and C with two men on each point. It worked well. Our set up was two Devastators and two Assault Marines. I went with the Ammunition Stores and Heavy Bolter Coolant perks, with frag grenades.

Of course, we were in for another surprise just as the final nob went down. A bonus round. Against Chaos.

Purple warp storms shocked the arena as Bloodletters poured into the arena. They weren’t terribly difficult, but they had a tendency to phase shift away just as you were starting to get some good hits on them. There were also a lot of them. About a fifth into it, Chaos Marines showed up. These guys were game changers, with very, very powerful armor. They weren’t terribly skilled: average shots, willing to go melee and would dodge and retreat once their armor was broken. They took a lot of pepper to take down however. The same was true of the Havocs who started to appear.

But the worst was about 2/3s through the round when the champions started to appear. Wielding daemon mauls and sporting so much health, I expended perhaps 150 to 200 rounds just to take one out. And there were several who gave chase. It came down to constant hit and run tactics. Run, turn, fire, run-turn-fire again and again.

The good news was that these kills added a lot to the new live counter, so that although we died often this round, we made back just enough to see us through to victory. Go us.

P.S. I purchase three songs by Emilie Autumn on Amazon yesterday and played them on repeat throughout the game. Loved it. Swallow is one of my favorites, so check it out and buy some of her stuff if you enjoy it as well.

Lord Lucan, Professional Writer

Yep, that's Lord Lucan. Go on! Give him a hug...

Go on! Give him a hug...

Congratulations are in order.

Lord Lucan, now better known as A. R. Aston, has recently been published. His short story can be found in Stone Mind’s Folly. You can also check it out on Amazon.

This is a big day for the writers of the Bolthole. First Pyroriffic (Sarah Cawkwell) gets The Gildar Rift, and now Lord Lucan is making a mark of his own. Drop by the Bolthole and wish Lord Lucan well on his posting! Oh, and buy his book too. You can afford $2.

SPESS MEHREN!

So let’s talk about what’s cool. Specifically, let’s talk about Space Marine. Or better yet, let’s watch the bloody, bloody trailer…

With the exception of Soulstorm and Fire Warrior, THQ has done a fine job of translating the table top game into the PC world. Soulstorm came at the butt end of a growing list of Dawn of War expansions shortly before Dawn of War 2, and seemed to lack the innovation and quality they put into the other expansions. Meanwhile, Fire Warrior felt like it just rehashed the Red Faction game engine without tweaking or improving it.

Yes, it’s true that both these games got solid reviews, but I’m also used to other 40k fan boys pumping up the ratings far more than they deserve. You can see it on Amazon when you look up the reviews of new Black Library books. And while most of the novels the Black Library publishes are good quality, some have fallen short of my expectations.

But I’ve seen little about Space Marine thus far that is cause for alarm. The graphics look tight, they’ve invested some effort in developing at least a decent story from the cut scenes. The varieties of weapons to use and enemies to kill are solid.

I get a touch confused because the game seems more focused on melee over ranged combat, but the list of available ranged weapons seems larger than the close combat choices. What’s worse is that I’m actually not sure what weapons will be available and what won’t be. For example, the online site gives us this small list of weapons. But one trailer gave us a brief glimpse of the autocannon, while another shows a laser cannon, a heavy bolter and a power axe. I have not seen a flamer, power fist nor a missile launcher. At least not yet.

I suspect that the developers are probably having a long, last minute debate over what will be put in the game and what will be held back to either purchase later or thrown into expansions. From the start, earlier trailers seemed to have a different vision for the game involving a team of mixed combat styles. Something obviously changed between now and then.

One cause of concern for me is going to be game play variety. So far, about 95% of what I’ve seen consisted of hacking, slashing and shooting through huge mobs of Orks or mowing down Chaos Marines. The other 5% consisted of some sort of vehicular mid air shoot out.

The environment looks spectacular.

The environment is so spectacular, even Captain Titus has to pause in awe of it.

Combat is wonderful, but most gamers these days need more. A tight combat system makes the game a lot of fun, as it did for God of War. But Kratos’ tale was also mixed with puzzle solving on the side to work the mind and not just the fingers. I’m not exactly sure that puzzles would really fit into a game like this.  However, I also fear that the game will suffer from this pattern:

  1. Notice large mob of bad guys coming over to kindly make your acquaintance. And then kill you.
  2. Engage said group of green gentlemen, smashing buttons to find some combination of moves that relieves them of their lives.
  3. Proceed to next area before the stench of the fresh cadavers’ relaxed bowels becomes overpowering.

Maybe there is some variety mixed in there. Perhaps driving vehicles. Or skulking about as a scout, planting bombs, sniping, knifing and keeping out of sight. Still, a lot of details have been held back. So it’s really wait and see at this point.

But I find myself really looking forward to the multiplayer. THQ decided to give us the option of being either Space Marines or Chaos Marines, and unbelievable customization options to boot. Here’s a parting video for you to see:

Sadly, I suspect there will be no sandvich.